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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Oops!

Yesterday was supposed to be day three of my C25K.  But it rained.  A lot of rain.  I told myself that I'd do it today.  I'd have to get up at 5 am to do it before work and that just wasn't happening.  I came home, fed Ladybug and changed into my work out clothes, looked out the window and said, oh crap it's gonna rain.
Kind of like this, obviously not my house.
I went on about my business doing fun things like reading "Pizza Cat" (aka Pete The Cat) with Ladybug.  I don't know that it actually rained.  I didn't hear any, and I kind of feel bad about that because I didn't intend to flake.  So I guess I'm getting up at 5am.  

Speaking of Pete The Cat, I'm pretty sure adults should have to read children's books.  In many ways, they're wasted on kids.  Kids don't have real adversity, or at least they shouldn't.   Pete the cat had a coat with buttons that was his favorite.  One by one they popped off.  But Pete wasn't sad.  He was happy because he still has a belly button.


A week or so ago, one of the buttons popped off of my favorite sweater.  Mostly because my boobs refused to be contained.  I was sad, but obviously I shouldn't have been, because I still have my cavernous belly button.

Yesterday, I went swimsuit shopping, Ladybug and I start lessons next week.  I also forced myself to buy a few warm weather things because wearing a sweater in 90 degree weather is just asking for heat stroke.  I have enough issues thank you very much.

I tried on a couple of things that I knew wouldn't fit just because I was dreading shopping in fat people land.  You know, where the grannies shop. In fact, someone's granny walked past me as I was circling the perimeter of the land of the wide hips. I got a few things, a couple of pairs of work capris and a couple of tops.  And got a bunch of compliments on my chunky granny wear today.  As much as I hate to admit it, wearing something in the right size is much more comfortable that starving part of my body of blood and oxygen.  But, that discomfort is motivation.

Team no more fat.  Or no more horrifying swimsuit experiences when your toddler sings about boobs loudly in the fitting room.  I guess she was inspired.

Monday, May 26, 2014

C25K Day 2

I wish I could say that on day two I ran like the wind, that I found the sprinter down in my soul.  That didn't happen. 

On Sunday, we had people over, but I was determined to get my exercise in. Jethro had the great idea to take Zahra with me. Now, I KNEW this was a set up. Because despite having 4 legs, Zahra's not exactly into running. She's into naps. The plan was to do one circuit around the subdivision with her and them finish solo. 

I tried to remember how far I'd gotten the first day before the first running interval. Apparently I blocked that from my mind and got suckered into taking Z with me. 
She did fine during the walk. But Z wasn't having any jogging. No thank you. In fact , she pulled out of her harness (she has lost some weight) and kind of trotted beside me. 

She the assumed this position for the rest of the day. 

After dropping her back of at the house I kept walking but just didn't have the umphf that I started with. 

All in all I did 1.7 miles but I could've done better. I am proud of myself for getting out there, it would've been really easy to flake but I didn't. Progress. 

Friday, May 23, 2014

C25k - Day One

I was on it. Since I've given up the ghost on my shoe size, I knew I had to have new running shoes. That and the fact that whenever I tried to run before I would get the worst cramps in my feet. I tried to figure out what the best kind of shoe was for me. But after seeing prices online I decided to find comfortable and cheap. Luckily my thrifty ways got me $80 Nikes for $35

Who ever would've thought I would've bought pink shoes? 

Today begins a 5 day weekend for me, I slept in (til 7!!!!!) then went about finding the duct tape for my boobs. 

Today's work out:
- 5 minute walk 
- 1 min run / 90 sec walk (times 6)
- 5 minute walk 

A few things. I need to organize my playlist because trying to *werk* to Ave Maria and At Last is not what's up. But Partition?!?!? Whhooooooo Lawd. I ran when it wasn't time to run when that was on. 

Day one complete. I didn't run all of the time I was supposed to partially due to the flames erupting from my legs. But not bad for the first day of trying to move allllllllllll of this. 



Wednesday, May 21, 2014

May Update

Right now I should be blogging about how getting treatment for your Xanax addiction is a really good idea or about how freezing your eggs is an awesome way to preserve your fertility, but I'm not in the mood.  Plus, I have more than an hour until they're do so I'm free to do whatever I want.  Or at least that's what I like to tell myself.

Some updates:

I'm still digging the new job.  I've got into a rhythm of sorts and I'm feeling a bit better about time management.  Which means less stress.  Or what should be less stress.  There seems to be 50% more cars on the road than their used to be two months ago.  I'm not sure where all of these people came from, but I'm sure they should go back.  They don't have to go home but they have to get the heck up off 355.

Ladybug is 2 going on at least 27.  Its so amazing to see what qualities of mine and Jethro's she's picked up.  She's an uber rule follower like myself, but she's got a temper that is all his.  She loves books like me but loves to dance like her daddy.  She's the most empathetic person I know.

She self decorates with stickers


I've learned to watch what I say around her, she mimics everything I do.  And I realize you should KNOW that as a parent.  But in practice, it's the small things.  Like me fussing while driving "Dude!!!" and her response is where's the dude?  What's the dude doing? Is that the dude over there? The dude isn't driving good?  Something unexpected, while getting her out of her car seat last week I poked her on accident.  She didn't cry, but looked a little offended and I apologized. "I'm sorry baby.  Mommy didn't mean to, it was an accident.  I didn't poke you on purpose.  I'm sorry." A few cuddles later all was well.  Later on that day, she stepped on my toe.  When she heard me say ouch, she recited those words right back to me.  "I'm sorry mommy.  I didn't mean to.  It was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose."  Talk about perspective.

I'm refocused on my fitness, again.  And I'm blogging back on the other site again, I've got to do better with my life decisions.  And writing about it keeps me accountable.


Week 1 Results

And the results are in!  During week 1 I lost a whopping 1.2 pounds.  I will admit that this weight loss reflects my efforts.  I did right but I could've put in much more effort.  Other than my personal trainer toddler I did no exercise.  And my husband made hot links which I ate the night before weigh in.  And the night before the night before.  LOL.

Week 1 - Lost 1.2 pounds, Total loss 1.2 pounds, current weight 249.6
Starting Weight 250.8

Let us not speak of my pedicure situation. 
Tomorrow I start Couch to 5 K.  The obvious question is why?  I hate running.  But I also hate all exercise.  I'm kind of fascinated by running though, I'm not sure what is is, but I'm in awe of runners.  And I'm actually buying the app which is saying A LOT for me.  (Also saying a lot is the husband speaking to me in hushed tones because apparently looking for the right app was making me look crazy.  "Why are you doing that?!?" )

Ok, in the quest to be honest I didn't REALLY pay for it, I got an iTunes gift card for Christmas from work

Monday, May 19, 2014

In the beginning

For Christmas (yes, I know it was 6 months ago) one of my favorite people in the whole wide world made me and my daughter matching aprons.  Totally the best thing ever.  I was so happy, I was going to send her a pic of us wearing them.


When I saw this photo I was horrified.  Hor-ri-fied!!!!!!  Sure it's a bad angle (photographs should be taken from slightly above, this is from below) but that doesn't account for how wide I am.  I never sent it.  Instead, I sent one of the baby solo.

The me I see in the mirror doesn't match what's shown above.  I obviously think a little too highly of myself because me in the mirror is at least 30 pounds lighter.  I said I was getting my life together.  I was going to lose 50 pounds before my birthday.  And I did right for a couple of days and then went right back to eating my feelings.  My feelings are bad and they must be punished with food.

I restarted in February.  Same pep talk, this time with photographic evidence of my scale bending weight

Same thing.  I did right for a couple of weeks max, then went back to self medicating.  In fact, I was super happy when I found a lunch spot with a giant slice of pizza and a pop for less than $4.  That wasn't a good thing.

A month or so ago, the husband and I went to a wedding.  We had a nice time, I even wore a dress.  And then we stood really far apart when we embraced because of the 9 months of fat I am close to delivering.


This is the beginning of my weight loss journey.  I deserve better than this.  So does my family.  It's time for me to do better.

Week 1 overview

Tomorrow morning I officially weigh in for the first week of getting my life together. I started off super strong and then relaxed a bit. Staying focused is going to be so important in this journey.

Yesterday my husband made my favorite chicken wings. He smokes them then flash fries them. THE BEST chicken wings ever. I exercised some self control which is way better than normal. 

I can honestly say I didn't exercise. Oops. Well not anything with talking about. I do, however, have a personal trainer. She's 2, but she's tough 

Stand up mommy
Now jump 
Jump!!!!!
Fall on the floor! 
Flip!!!! 
Roll around !!! 
Run!!!!! Run faster!!!

Admittedly, it's working. She gets me off the couch and outside. And she's the best motivator. 

Sunday, May 11, 2014

The Night Before

Today is the day before d day. Which of course means I want to eat six of everything. I didn't. But I wanted to. I ate like a normal person at the barbecue my brother held for Mother's Day.

I have left over chicken Parmesan in the fridge that I'd love to stick in my face. But I'm being strong.  

We played Just Dance or some other dancing game at my brother's house. The good news is I did cardio without passing out, twice! The bad news is when I watched the playback it appeared as though I had two sets of boobs. Your muffin top shouldn't look like extra boobs. That's not a muffin, that's a pound cake. 

And I appreciated the inspiration  I can do better. I will do better. 

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Restart

I started this blog nearly a year ago.  When I realized that a combination of factors was allowing me to pile the weight on.  I got it.  But I didn't get it.

Today, May 10, 2014 I weigh 250 pounds.  That's an outrageous number.  That's what I weighed when I was 9 months pregnant.  I can't blame this weight on my pregnancy.  First, my baby is 2.  Second, I lost all that baby weight rather quickly.

What did cause my weight gain?

  • Not putting the effort into eating right
  • Making several hundred excuses and rationalizing everything.  
  • Eating all of my feelings
Last year I was stressed about money, stressed about life in general and pressed for time.  Since that time I've gotten a new job with a higher salary, but a worse commute and my husband lost his job. All that equals stress.  I've dealt with that stress with pizza, tacos and more pizza.  In fact, I was beyond thrilled that I found a place where I can get a slice of pizza and a pop for $3.78.  Hey!  That's even affordable.  And I feel some kind of odd comfort in being able to sit in a restaurant and read.  Very odd.  In fact, I think I'm partially addicted to that as well.  

The truth is, I've been lazy.  I've juggled the other things in my life and just let this one go.  It's warm and I have only a hand full of things that I can fit.  This isn't ok.  My weight isn't ok.  The fact that I'm getting winded because of all of this extra weight isn't ok.  I have to do better.  Eating better is actually not that hard for me, yet I don't do it.  I need to kick my own ass.  

At the beginning of the year I said I wanted to lose 50 pounds by my birthday in September.  I've made 0 progress on this goal.  

So I'm back to charting.  I joined Weight Watchers a while ago, now it's all about actually tracking the points.   I'm going to get in some cardio as well, even though I hate cardio with a passion.  I have to do this.  If I don't do this now, I'm going to be one of those women who struggle to walk, who have miserable existences at 45.  That can not be my life.  I can do better.  I will do better.   And I will keep myself accountable here.  

I welcome your comments and support.  

Pics, measurements come on Monday, May 12th.  I'm ready.  

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About Me

I'm a 30-something wife, mom and pet parent. I've been blogging since 2004, at first solely on a blog for my friends and family. I love to write about everything. I can't say that A Bacon Flavored Life is about any one thing. If it occurs to me, it'll get posted. I write about life, love, infertility and a lot of "random".


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