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Saturday, February 22, 2014

I Need A Vacation

The title of this post may be the most understated of understatements.  Or, maybe, I just need about 5 hours where no one speaks to me. One of those things. 

I'd like to go someplace warm and serene with a fruity beverage and room service


Isn't that beautiful?  Doesn't that make you feel relaxed?  Yes?  You're crazy.  I'm not sleeping in that.  What if it gets really windy?  What if a shark grows legs and walks up the stairs?  What if there's an axe murder?  No thank you.  

Vacationing with other people is an interesting experience. As a kid, you're kind of stuck with whatever your family does because they're grown and paying.  As an adult, you have to navigate other people's vacation styles which may not be anything like yours.  

Some people are go, go, go, go, go, go, go on vacation.  They want to see and do everything!  They want to go out and enjoy the night life!  That want to experience all there is to experience.  Those people make me tired. 

Sure it's nice to go out and see the place you're visiting.  You should take in the sights and experience the culture.  But you should also relax, because relaxing is the entire reason you would go on vacation in the first place. 

Here are Bek's rules to a successful location: 

  • Leave when you say you're going to leave.  THIS is my crazy part of the vacation.  If you say we're leaving at 5 we should leave at 5.  I've got issues with time and yeah... It's worse if there's an airport involved.  I need to be there early to get through security, eat some non threatening-been-screened-for-bombs food that costs too much and then scrutinize the plane as if I have any idea what I'm looking at.  
  • Eat.  Food is important.  Very important.  Maybe more important than it should be (that's a post on its own) but food.  I don't need breakfast. That also means by 11:30 I'm going to need lunch or someone is getting punched in the throat. 
  • Nightlife.  I like being outside after the streetlights have come on occasionally.   But I do not want to go to the club.  I didn't want to go to the club at home, I do not want to go to the club now.  We can go to the casino. I can lose $20 - 30 on the slots and call it a night.  Woooooo hoooooo! 
  • Do something - Notice the some thing.  Not all of the things.  Just some of them. And space them out.  It's ok to just veg.  One of my favorite vacation moments ever was hanging out in the room in Vegas, eating and watching the Keno channel.  Yes the Keno channel, that was quality tv especially after walking up and down the strip. 
  • Do not make friends with strangers - We can be cordial.  Hello, where are you from (I don't really care) enjoy your time (never speak to me again). I'm not trying to spend time on vacation following behind some strangers.  That's how you get hacked up and stored in various parts of the hotel.  Nope.  
I need a vacation.  Or at the very least to walk around the food court once.  That'd work too.

(Thanks to the post I know that a mall in Trinidad has a Popeyes in the food court.  Maybe that's my next vacation destination.  So what there's a Popeyes 10 minutes from here. Shhhhhhh)

Monday, February 10, 2014

Playing Games with Mommy - A post by Ladybug

It's awesome being two.  I pretty much do whatever I want, until someone tells me no.  No is pretty much the worst thing ever.  Unfortunately, I hear no a lot.  And there's not much I can do because the parents are big and I am little.   But I get my revenge...

I've always liked to play games with mommy at night.

When I was really little I had reflux which flared at night.  Mommy was beside herself trying to figure out why I turned into crazy baby at night. Then she figured it out and I got meds and gremlin me went away.  For a moment.

At 4 1/2 months I slept through the night. It was Easter, and mommy thought it was the best Easter present ever.  I slept through the night for the whole week.  Yep, that's it.  One week.  Then I got a tooth.  Yes.  A tooth.  The first of many.  I teethed from then until I was 1 at which point I had all of my baby teeth.  I kept mommy on her toes because her boobies made me happy and sleepy.  I love boobies.

After mommy reclaimed her boobs, I started sleeping through the night again.  Mostly.

Sometimes it's fun to play games with mommy.  Especially on nights when she thinks she'll have "free time" and that she'll be able to "relax".  She's so silly that mommy of mine.  On these nights I like to do all kinds of fun things like:

  • Claim to have to poop
  • Claim to have to pee
  • Ask for "two" cookies
  • Ask for more ice in my water 
  • Demand to read my own bedtime stories extra slllllllllooooooowwwwwwllllllyyyyyyyy
  • Request to change the stuffed animal in bed with me eleventeen times
  • Talk in my sleep and say MOMMY?!?!?!? and I GOTTA GO POTTY!!!!!!!! So mommy jumps up and nothing!  Hahaha!!! Suckerrrrr
  • Wake up at 4 am, declare it "time to wake up" and demand food.  
  • Wake up to go potty then ask for bedtime stories (notice the plural) 
Playing bedtime games with mommy is so much fun.  Well until she wakes me up in the morning.  That's not fun.  That's not fun at all.

This is the part where I read my own story.  Then demand another story.  And another story... and another one.... I'm never going to sleep. Sleep is for suckas.  And old people.  But not mommy.  No sleep for mommy.



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I'm a 30-something wife, mom and pet parent. I've been blogging since 2004, at first solely on a blog for my friends and family. I love to write about everything. I can't say that A Bacon Flavored Life is about any one thing. If it occurs to me, it'll get posted. I write about life, love, infertility and a lot of "random".


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