Tuesday, June 10, 2014

The Swimming Lesson

9:28 PM

Last year, I really wanted to enroll Ladybug in swimming lessons.  I was kind of obsessive about it actually.  The spots seemed to fill up instantaneously at our park district, but I wasn't deterred.  I checked parks in the surrounding area, nothing.  Well nothing if you have a job.  If  I wanted to take lessons at 10 am on a Wednesday I had all the opportunity in the world.  

I ended up finding classes at the Y, but after adding in the fees it didn't make financial sense.

This year I was prepared.  I stalked the park district's website.  I knew I had to reaffirm my residency card (helloooooo discount) and knew exactly what paperwork I'd need to do so.  I unearthed one of Ladybug's birth certificates.  I was ready.  Registration started on a Sunday.  Ladybug and I were at the park bright and early!!! I explained that we were registering for classes.  She stared at the pool.  She wanted to get in the pool.  She wanted to look at the people swimming at the pool.  She wanted to never leave the pool's side.  The pool was her soul mate.

I drug her out crying "noooooooo I want to get in the pooooooooooolllllllll" Drama, thy name is Ladybug.

She got a new swimsuit.  I got a new swimsuit.  We were ready!!!!  Mostly.

You see Ladybug, although she is fabulous and awesome and smart and beautiful and funny, she has a problem with water.  Baths are fun.  But.  Shampoos?  Shampoos are obviously evil and are a tool of the man designed to keep her down.  She rages against the machine when it comes to shampoos.  I got hit with my first "I'm not your friend anymore" on Saturday.  You know why?  A shampoo.

We got to the park and took full advantage of the family changing rooms.  We were super early, so we had about 15 minutes to burn while we watched all the other kids come in.  Both the baby class (us) and the preschool class (next year?) are held at the same time.  Ladybug was all excited.  "Is it our turn yet?"

It was finally our turn.  The parents were instructed to sit on the edge of the pool and get the kids feet wet.  Ladybug was calm, but kind of hesitant.  Then we got in the pool.  I must mention here that she was in my arms, attached to my hip, one with my flesh the whole time.

And this happened to Ladybug

Get in the water - cry
Jump up and down - cry
Water hokey pokey - cry
Float on your back - cry
Float on your belly - cry
Blow bubbles - cry
Splash!!!! - *does 1 tiny little fetus splash*
Play with water toys - cry
Time to get out the pool - cry
Leave the pool area - cry
Leave the building - cry

So swimming was "fun".  Luckily for me she wasn't the other crier.  Then she told me she wanted to go back to the pool so she could cry.  Smh.

We practiced blowing bubbles and getting her face wet in the bathtub.  I've been telling her that she doesn't have to be afraid because mommy is right there.  We're working on it.  Because we're totally going back next week.

We may be the living embodiment of both the watermelon and fried chicken stereotypes, but the water one isn't happening.

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  1. haha! Shampoo is indeed the devil! Hopefully, it'll grow on her soon and she starts to enjoy herself.


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