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Monday, June 16, 2014

Outrageous Outrage!!!

9:55 PM

One of my least favorite things about social media is the OUTRAGE!!!!! about the most trivial of things.  Everyone  is OMG I'M SO UPSET THAT SOMEONE I'LL NEVER KNOW DID THIS THING THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AND IT IS RUINING MY LIFE.


Maybe other people are better about taking their B vitamins.  Maybe it's because I don't drink energy drinks.  Maybe it's because I have a life, a full time job, a couple of side hustles and I just don't have the emotional capacity for outrage.  Let's say I wake up with 100 energy parts every day.  I'm guessing that OUTRAGE is at least 35 energy parts.  No one has that kind of energy to spend on silly stuff.  Well, obviously some people do.

I'm convinced that much of the outrage isn't even outrage.  It's fauxrage.  Oh, someone else is outraged.  Let me get outraged too.  That is dumb. Go read a book.

This week's things you're supposed to be upset about:

Blue Ivy's Hair - Apparently Blue Ivy's parents have allowed their child to run feral and be raised by wolves.  In fact, they only allow her to eat on Tuesdays and every third Friday.  Sometimes, she's just given a loincloth and told to kill her own meat.  Obviously the people need to be called.  Oh wait.  That's not the case at all.  I promise no matter what Blue's hair looks life your life will be the same.  If she has a head full of twists tomorrow your credit score will not miraculously change to 850.  Elves will not clean your house while you sleep if her hair is braided.  Your boss will not suddenly stop giving you the side eye if she has on a baby lace front.   It's hair.  It's not even your hair.  Calm down.

Zendaya as Aaliyah - It was announced today that Zendaya will play the late Aaliyah in a Lifetime movie about her life.  I could stop here and talk about how being outraged about a Lifetime movie is everything that is wrong with America.  None of the fauxrage is about Zendaya's dancing or singing ability.  Nope.  It's because she's "not black".  I could do a series of posts about this very topic.  Zendaya is mixed, her father is African, her mother is white.   According to the internet today this means she's not black.  However, Barack Obama, he's still black, don't get that twisted.   Never mind that Zendaya can trace her roots directly to Africa, and most "black" people can not.   Also, she's too light.    Here's the thing wise people of the interwebs...  Aaliyah - also "mixed", her grandmother was native american.  And she was light too! GASP!!!! OH THE HORROR!!!! OHHHHHHH.   Really? Truth is unless your parents are immigrants, YOU ARE MIXED TOO!  I promise after watching the Lifetime movie gas will still be too high and bacon will still cost too much.  Simmer down.

If you did a series of posts full of fauxrage about the above you should probably reevaluate your life.  The whole thing.  And get a hobby.  Or a pet.  Or a job.  Something.  Get something.

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2 comments:

  1. LMAO...folks just have way too much time on their hands to care about this stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Exactly! Everybody in a uproar over that, and I'm over here like, "I'm 'bout to eat this cookie." LOL!!

    ReplyDelete

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