It's been (roughly) a month since I started "trying" to lose weight. I'd be a dirty lying liarpants if I said I was 100% in, 100% focused, 100% of the time. I have done better. I have exercised. I have been more conscious of what I'm doing.
However. A VERY BIG HOWEVER!!!! I'm still stress eating. Still. In fact, this morning I had a stream of thoughts along these lines:
- I'm going to do right today
- I'm going to drink all my water
- I'm not going to go downstairs and eat a bacon sandwich
- I'm going to lose this weight
- I'd really like some hot wings. Some good ones. Not too salty, just good and delicious.
And that's how it happens. I caught the thought as it turned through my brain. I didn't have hot wings for lunch. Score! I did, however, have free pizza and salad. And the whipped cream off a cupcake. Don't judge me, all I wanted was the whipped cream.
I'm down another 1.6, for a total of 2.8 pounds. Yes, it's a start. But it's not a great start.
One of my side hustle clients is a luxury drug rehab center. One of their main focuses is equipping their clients to deal with stress without using their substance of choice. My substance of choice is calories. A lot of calories. To numb things. To block out others. To pretend things are okay. To quiet the doubt, quell the fear, avoid my thoughts. I have to stop this. I'm hurting me. I've got to do better.
I can do better. I must do better. I will do better.
Weeks 2-4 Lost 1.6 pounds, Total loss 2.8 pounds, current weight 248.0
Week 1 - Lost 1.2 pounds, Total loss 1.2 pounds, current weight 249.6
Starting Weight 250.8