I used to be normal. (Shut up) I used to buy Christmas presents without much thought or fanfare. You need a present? I bought something suitable. End of story.
Things aren't that way any more. I'm starting to lose it.
I first noticed the change was happening last November. Ladybug's birthday is exactly four weeks before Christmas, so while I was shopping for her birthday present I naturally run into early Christmas shoppers. I was in Toys R Us (never go in there!!!) looking for gifts for Ladybug and her cousin who is 2 weeks older. To be honest, I couldn't tell you the last time I'd been in TRU before that day. But once I got in there something happened. All of a sudden, I had an overwhelming feeling that my child was totally less fortunate and she needed all of the things in the store. ALL OF THE THINGS. Never mind she wasn't quite 1. No big deal that she wasn't walking on her own yet. She needed things. MY BAAAAABBBBBBYYYYYYY
I was able to get out of there with just the things I came in for, my notion that one year olds don't even know what a birthday is, still mostly intact. But the seed was planted.
We're planning Ladybug's second birthday party now. Invitations have been sent. Decorations purchased. No effort menu planned (I told you have no tiiiiiimmmmmeeeeeeee). All that are needed are presents. PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!
About a week ago, we received three big toy books on the same day. Target, Walmart (meh) and TRU taunted me with their gift offerings. And they put both the Minnie Mouse and Doc McStuffins items on the same page. I actually said out loud "WHY WOULD THEY SEND THIS TO MY HOUSE?!?!?!" I found the perfect gift, the Doc McStuffins Check Up Center. I tried to find a better price online, no dice. So I broke down and intended to order it from TRU, but they didn't have it available for online delivery. However, you could set it up for pick up from a store. Of course, none of the stores close to me had it. Oy. I made the executive decision to try a store near me anyway.
A reasonable person would've just ordered from the not-close TRU since I tour half the country on my way to and from work anyway. But I am not reasonable. I am a crazy lady. I decide I'm going to the store anyway because the internet is a dirty liar. Anyone that knows me knows me and the internet are bffs. This addiction has made me turn my back on my bff. (This might be rock bottom).
Into the store I went. I found the sale stuffed puppy, grabbed some Mega Blocks and hit the Disney Junior section. No care center. I find the display in the middle of the aisle. The sad, empty, used up display - no care center. I see a guy walking with a care center and ask him where he found it. He replies he had the last one. I punched him in the esophagus and took it. Ok. Maybe that didn't happen. But I thought about it. I was confident I could outrun him. He had what my baby needed! Well, she doesn't NEED it. And she doesn't know it exists, and she's easily entertained with a fly swatter, but still. IN THE ESOPHAGUS!!!
And then I came to my senses and left that evil place. Maybe they do something to the air in there. I ordered it from far away store like I should've done in the first place. I picked it up today, no muss no fuss, no punching anyone in their esophagus.
Maybe there's a pill for this.