Thursday, August 15, 2013

Fifteen - Fighting Fear of Failure

10:34 PM

Alliteration - I like it.

A friend and I have been doing a lot of talking about dealing with our fear of failure.  How we are going to stare it in the face and just deal.  I talked a good game. 

You see my fear of failure looks like this

I don't want to look this in the face.  I want to eat a bucket of chicken and pretend like I don't know this exists.  But it does exist and if i don't stop eating all of this dang chicken I'm going to be too heavy to flee or fight.  I'm going to get destroyed.

I know this but I don't know this yet.  I'm moving forward, but really slow and I need a guide.

In the not too distant past, two opportunities came up that I went after.  And they seemed so promising.  I was intrigued and the other party did a great job of stroking my ego.  Then, nothing. 

If I'm honest about it, I gave up afterwards.  I decided it wasn't worth my time or my energy and resigned myself to being stuck.  Stuck in a rut.  Woe. 

A new opportunity came up, and I was talking myself out of it.  I didn't want to open myself up to hope.  Because with hope comes my opponent from above.   But by talking myself out of it, I've let fear win.  I don't want to be a loser. 

So, I'm hopeful and I'm kind of staring the scary guy in the face while running in a zig zag formation. And I'm praying.  I may not have what it takes to fight solo, but I know who does.

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