A friend and I have been doing a lot of talking about dealing with our fear of failure. How we are going to stare it in the face and just deal. I talked a good game.
You see my fear of failure looks like this
I don't want to look this in the face. I want to eat a bucket of chicken and pretend like I don't know this exists. But it does exist and if i don't stop eating all of this dang chicken I'm going to be too heavy to flee or fight. I'm going to get destroyed.
I know this but I don't know this yet. I'm moving forward, but really slow and I need a guide.
In the not too distant past, two opportunities came up that I went after. And they seemed so promising. I was intrigued and the other party did a great job of stroking my ego. Then, nothing.
If I'm honest about it, I gave up afterwards. I decided it wasn't worth my time or my energy and resigned myself to being stuck. Stuck in a rut. Woe.
A new opportunity came up, and I was talking myself out of it. I didn't want to open myself up to hope. Because with hope comes my opponent from above. But by talking myself out of it, I've let fear win. I don't want to be a loser.
So, I'm hopeful and I'm kind of staring the scary guy in the face while running in a zig zag formation. And I'm praying. I may not have what it takes to fight solo, but I know who does.
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