Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Twenty-Seven - Cooties

It's official.  It's a part of her lineage I guess.  Ladybug has cooties. On vacation, well on staycation.

When we were younger, my brother and I would alternate getting sick on holidays.  Ladybug has taken this and run with it.  Her low grade fever morphed into 103 in the middle of the night, followed up with a nose bleed this morning.

I've never had a nose bleed.  Or at least not one that I remember. Jethro has so I'm totally blaming his DNA on this one.   There's something super disturbing about seeing a toddler with a nose bleed.  Especially your toddler with a nose bleed.  She didn't freak out, she probably has no idea that blood isn't supposed to leak from your head. On the outisde I was calm cool and collected, on the inside was a different story:


A trip to the doctor and a little blood work later, she has an antibiotic and I'm beating back a fever with a Tylenol/Motrin combo.  Beat it fever.

She didn't really take a nap and after seeming like she was completely healed, 6pm hit and wham.  Baby meltdown.  I ended up rocking her to sleep. And it occurred to me that this really is the easy part.  No, it's not easy to see her sick, but for now, her ailments are easily solved with cuddles, kisses and being picked up.  When she can't sleep, it's fairly simple to pick her up and bring her in the bed with me (where she will promptly take up 90% of a king size bed).

What happens when she's 15 and upset because someone doesn't like her or makes fun of her?  Sticks and stones and all of that but that doesn't make it hurt any less.   When she was six months old, all she needed was a boob.  Boobs literally solved everything.  The older she gets, the less magical fixes.

Waking up for 3 am feedings is nothing compared to waking up at 3 am because of some foolishness your teenager is on.

I'll enjoy these toddler years all I can.  Even the cootie filled ones.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Twenty-Six - Whoops

Whoops.  I almost made it through the 31 day challenge.  Almost.

Yesterday it just couldn't happen.  I had articles due and after that it was all I could do to not have my eyes cross.  Tonight I'm still fighting the sleep monster, but at least I'm not up against any deadlines.

Official vacation day one did not go as expected as ladybug has the heebee jeebees.  I told her she was doing vacation wrong, but she does whatever she wants, you know, since she's a toddler.  I knew something was up when she shunned applesauce.   I'm praying she's all back to normal in the morning.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Twenty-Four - Moments

I almost forgot to post tonight. It's late and I'm pooped.

Today I took Ladybug to a local children's museum. It was the perfect size for my tiny person.  There was an archeology dig site, a medical area, an art area and a lot more. 

When we got there, there was only one other family, so we basically had our run of the place.  Slowly but surely the place started to fill up and I got to see Ladybug in a new light, playing with her peers. 

I went back to work when Ladybug was 11 weeks old.  At first she was in a home daycare with super sitter and she transferred into a school setting at 15 months. She's been around other kids basically her while life. The thing is I don't get to see her interact with them. I get reports on her daily but it's not the same. 

There's a whole lot of Bek in Ladybug. A. Whole. Lot. She's a bossy pants, and things have places and they should go in them. She loves books which is pretty awesome. 

We had a blast today. But was a reminder of how much I miss on a daily basis. And it also showcased how well rounded she's becoming. 

My goal for this week is to enjoy her and to live in the moments because she's growing up so fast. 

Friday, August 23, 2013

Twenty-Three - Vacation!!!!

As of 5:15 today, I'm on VACATION!!!! I don't go back until the day after Labor Day. 

Maybe that's why I'm in full ADD mode.  Oh look!!! Something shiny!!!

Next weekend we're going up to visit my favorite weirdo - toddler road trip.  That should be fun. Yep. Fun.

I hope to get some writing in.  I heard back from the fertility articles, they loved them, they think I'm awesome.  Good so far right?  Well of course there's a BUT

They want to pay me in gum, or the financial equivalent of it.  While it would be more fulfilling than writing about air conditioners, I can't pay bills with fulfillment.  I countered, we'll see what they say.  I hope they accept the counters and I can write all the words and we an all be happy.

Say some prayers!

That's it.  I'm off to write about changing batteries in your CO detectors.  Fun!  

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Twenty-Two - Feelings

You know how people say that you should be in touch with your feelings?  I'm not one of those people.  I try to get my feelings to stay as far away from me as possible.  And when I have too many feelings I eat so that they have to bow down to the fullness.  Yes, character flaw.  I'm kind of, almost, not really working on it.  

This also means I have problems with other people's feelings.  Other people's feelings are at least eleventy times worse than my own feelings.  Whenever someone says "I just feel like..." I have to will myself not to roll my eyes and exhale loudly.

"I am sad" is okay, it's a statement of fact.

"I just feel like blabbity blabbity blah" not okay.

This may be one of the reasons I typically can't do reality shows.  Too many feelings too much mess.  But this R&B Divas LA has me hooked. 

(Random #1: Lil Mo's husband knows he likes tight shirts)

(Random #2: Michel'le must've gotten the "one free" when the Jacksons were getting their nose jobs)

This week's episode picks up after the Dawn / Lil Mo heated discussion.  I get the impression that Dawn has about fifty-leven issues.  It seems as though she's easily led and that a lot of her issues can be tracked to her picking the wrong person to follow.  She's also attended the Kelly Price School of Acting Brand New For No Good Reason. 

(Random #3: You know when the producers set this up they thought they'd give the Divas a task and tell the crazy one she was in charge.  Foolishness was sure to ensure. Kelly isn't even subtly crazy.  She's that kind of crazy that is kind of obvious)

Looking Crazy "You can't see me, I'm hiding in my sweater. It smells like kidneys"
Kelly is out (good riddance).  Dawn is out because one of the gnomes she looks to for advice told her to.  

The four other girls decide to talk to a therapist.  I don't know why, well I do know why, because the producers told them to.  But as soon as she entered the room and began talking I stopped listening.   She used the word story 4,251 times.  That's too many. 

(Random #4: Everyone had nice eyebrows, Chante's were a bit thin but still.)

Everyone talked about their feelings and how they were worried about everyone knowing the thing that they don't want anyone to know.  And when I actually listened to the words it wasn't so bad. 

The therapist lady did say something that was so true and impact people always talk about needing someone else to give them closure.  "I just want them to say they're sorry", "I feel like they owe me"... here's the thing you may never get that.  Are you going to waste away waiting for that or move on?  Move on!!!!

Lil Mo tries to talk to Kelly but then neither of them talked to each other, Kelly walked around looking crazy, everyone called their husband.  It was just weird. Lil Mo cried cause someone left her kids at the airport, Kelly looked more crazy than usual and nothing got resolved.

Turns out Kelly and The Gnome Lover did their own Monologues.  And according to the internet they suck.  (thanks Shawn for letting me know about this gem)

I couldn't watch the whole thing, I skipped around and there's some singing but I kept being distracted by the giant OPP coat that is the background.  Supposedly they only did it the one night and that's the end. 

The reunion show was taped already.  I totally would pay $22.50 to see the quartet perform, maybe they'll take their show on the road?

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Twenty-One - Slacker

I knew I was going to be a writing slacker today.  I felt it down in my innards.  And I was. 

After writing like a crazy person the past few days, I wasn't in the mood.  I've got a good idea for tomorrow's post though. 

I enjoy writing short stories even though I haven't in a long time.  So I'll be doing some of that.  Until then..

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Twenty - Frustrated

Another short post. Yes, I'm a slacker - but I've got two more posts to write so....

Today I was frustrated with life.  I was frustrated with:

  • my weight
  • my clothes
  • my hair
  • my commute
  • my car
  • my job
  • my boss
  • my emotions
  • other departments at my job
  • my money or lack thereof
  • where my house is located
Today I was just frustrated with everything.  I can't say why, I shouldn't be overly hormonal.

Maybe it's because yesterday I was flying so high off the writing orders I got knocked down a bit by regular life.  I'm not sure.  Either way, tomorrow is a new day.  I'm on the right track, just have to keep moving forward.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Nineteen - Busy *Please hold*

No long post tonight.  Side hustle is popping.  I've got four blog posts to write about infertility and I'm scared and nervous.  EEeeeeeee!!!!! 

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Eighteen - Chasing Mavericks

I ended up watching a movie Chasing Mavericks tonight, or at least the last third of it.  It felt like a Nicholas Sparks movie at first, a palpable love movie that makes you feel too much and yearn for the type of love that only exists in Nicholas Sparks books.  I don't think there's another way to explain that.  Soap opera love, the love that pulls you in and you want to fight the obstacles that face the star crossed lovers. A Meredith and Derek love (notice I didn't say Liv and Fitz).  I wasn't in the mood for that kind of emotional involvement.  But I couldn't see the remote and getting up to find it required way more energy than I had to spare. 

Originally, I thought that my post would be about that.  How movies and books that portray love in that light, kind of set people up for failure. 

Chasing Mavericks is a true story about a 16 year old boy that loved surfing and trained to surf Mavericks, aka big ass waves that no one should be on ever.  He felt drawn to the water, his father was a surfer, he felt like he belonged on the water, he felt called to be there.  He didn't believe he was long for this world, and he wasn't, 7 years after his first Maverick he died in a diving accident.  He left behind his wife who was his childhood sweetheart (and the reason why it felt Nicholas Sparksy). 

I don't think I know anyone that felt a calling that way.  That felt drawn to do something with all of their being.  I enjoy writing and reading, and my life is better when I'm able to do those things but I don't think I'd say I'm drawn to them.  Maybe lightly tugged on.   It seems to me that most people spend so much of their lives trying to figure out what it is that they should be doing, that being able to feel that pull must be freeing in some ways.  One less thing to try and figure out while we're here. 

I'm not sure what my Maverick is.  I'm sure there has to be one, and it isn't eating chicken.  It's easier to move forward when you know what you're after. 

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Seventeen - Foolishness

Occasionally I'll listen to Steve Harvey's morning show on the way to work.  It doesn't happen often because a lot of their characters make me tired.  But, sometimes I'll be scanning stations and it'll catch during the Strawberry Letter segment. 

Once in a while the letter seems legit.  But usually it's the foolishness that has made Maury rich.  The last letter I caught involved:

  • A 47 year old married lawyer with 3 grown daughters, all of whom are married
  • One of the daughters and her husband are living with her while they have a house built
  • One day one of the daughter's husbands stopped by to pick up something and they ended up having adult realtions
  • They kept on having relations and the sil that was staying with her walked in on them
  • That son in law asked for a little relations of his own to keep the secret quiet
  • She's now pregnant and doesn't know who the daddy is.  
  • Her husband is suspicious because he got snipped years ago
I'm 99.9999999% sure I heard a similar letter on this show before, but whatever.   And I don't think it's real but let's roll with it.

First and foremost. 


This lady wants to know what she's supposed to do now.  First, stop being a garden tool.  That's probably number one. 

Second, ugh. 

Third - What do you mean what should you do?  You should sit down and have several seats and keep your mouth shut.  No good can come of this. None.  In fact the best thing to do is pack a bag, leave an "I'm never coming home" note and run away. 

That's my advice. Run. A. Way.  Start over a new life with your baby/in-law.  You've just ruined the lives of your entire family.  Change your name to Molly Dogooder and move on.  Also, ugh.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Sixteen - My Kind of Doctor

Maybe because it's the first real reality show I've watched since Real World, but I find myself thinking about R & B Divas LA way too much.  Other than the fact that I get annoyed whenever they show Kelly Price (she's so extra all the time, I can't) there's no one that I just don't like.

That being said, there's something about Dawn.  She seems so aloof and like she's looking for someone to lead her.  The major part of her storyline is that she wants kids, but has had "woman issues" in the past.  We really didn't know what those were until this week. 

Last week she saw an RE (fertility doc) who kept it really real.  Maybe too real for her liking.  Although it was edited to all hell, and there was absolutely no evidence that they did any tests at all whatsoever, the first doc told Dawn that she was old (47) and her eggs were dusty (true) and that her options may be limited (true).  I want to say that Dawn said in one of her interviews that she wasn't open to using donor eggs.  Sure we're missing part of the conversation, I never heard the doc say "oh there's no way in hell you're having a baby".  What he did say was that she may have come to the end of the line, although that too was out of context

We learned more about Dawn's issues this week

  • Fibroids
  • Endometriosis
  • One ovary and one fallopian tube were removed
  • She's 47 
This week, she saw a holistic doctor.  Yes, this too was edited.  But it seemed as though this doctor told her if she stopped drinking coffee, ate rainbows and only breathed clean air she'd instantly become knocked up.  This made Dawn happy.

I made this face
 First, let me say I'm not anti holistic medicine.  But I am setting false expectations, and eating grass and drinking rainbows doesn't make you fertile.  If it did no one would be injecting themselves and dealing with mood swings or any other foolishness. Women would eat grass salads and men would go on rainbow hunting expeditions and babies would grow from trees. 

But that's not real life.  I'd much have a doctor who set realistic expectations while working with me rather than one that promises flowers and butterflies but can't deliver on either.

What about you?  What kind of doctor do you like?

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Fifteen - Fighting Fear of Failure

Alliteration - I like it.

A friend and I have been doing a lot of talking about dealing with our fear of failure.  How we are going to stare it in the face and just deal.  I talked a good game. 

You see my fear of failure looks like this

I don't want to look this in the face.  I want to eat a bucket of chicken and pretend like I don't know this exists.  But it does exist and if i don't stop eating all of this dang chicken I'm going to be too heavy to flee or fight.  I'm going to get destroyed.

I know this but I don't know this yet.  I'm moving forward, but really slow and I need a guide.

In the not too distant past, two opportunities came up that I went after.  And they seemed so promising.  I was intrigued and the other party did a great job of stroking my ego.  Then, nothing. 

If I'm honest about it, I gave up afterwards.  I decided it wasn't worth my time or my energy and resigned myself to being stuck.  Stuck in a rut.  Woe. 

A new opportunity came up, and I was talking myself out of it.  I didn't want to open myself up to hope.  Because with hope comes my opponent from above.   But by talking myself out of it, I've let fear win.  I don't want to be a loser. 

So, I'm hopeful and I'm kind of staring the scary guy in the face while running in a zig zag formation. And I'm praying.  I may not have what it takes to fight solo, but I know who does.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Fourteen - Food

I have a really bad relationship with food.  Or a really good relationship with food.  I guess it depends on how you look at it. 

I wish I could identify the "why" behind it.  When my day gets stressful, my first thought is often "guess I have to go find some chicken".  That's not healthy, in any way really.  I need to find a new way to relieve stress.  Deep breathing? Yoga? Mediation?  Exercise?  I don't know.  But I need to do something.   Otherwise I'm slowly going to work up to needing to cover my body with slipcovers.  There's nothing cute about wearing slipcovers.

How do you de-stress?

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Thirteen - Gifs

It's late. And although I have a lot to say, I don't have anything to say.  But I HAVE to post.

This would probably really motivate me to exercise

I have no appropriate things to say about this.

How I feel about serious writing tonight.

Good night. 

Monday, August 12, 2013

Twelve - Twelve Minute Post

I don't have much time, there are a bunch of open orders on one of the sites I write for.  And I'm making a journey to the north pole at the end of the month to visit my favorite weirdo (who doesn't like soup? ) so I've got to be on my side hustle.

  • A friend today talked about changing the way she speaks about things, and I'm trying to do better with my self talk.  I have fallen to easily into negative speak which starts a spiral of foolishness.  So I'm making a concerted effort to thing positive.  "I have enough, my life is enough, I am enough" while maintaining a push "the best is yet to come, I'm just getting started, I deserve better".  It's a crazy thing to balance, ambition vs. being okay with where you are.  But I think that balance is important, if you don't have both in check one will consume you. 
  • I took my lunch to work today, which doesn't sound like a dramatic feat of wonderfulness but it was.  I have lean cuistupid for the rest of the week and plan to eat them.  I've got to get back on track. 
  • Gold Peak Tea is kind of the best thing ever.  I'm very quickly turning into a junky.  It's not often that I find a bottled tea that actually tastes like tea. 
  • Jethro is watching a show called The Shed about a bbq joint.  One of the guys on it looks just like Skeletor from He-Man.  I wonder where his Castle Greyskull is. 

Doing this is how he got so swole

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Eleven - Dressing in Dresses

Once upon a time I was really into clothes.  I was always in New York & Company and enjoyed buying shoes (important to add, reasonably priced shoes). I was never shoe crazy but they didn't make me sad.  I liked dressing for work.  However, when money got tight, clothes was one of the first things that got caught, and I slowly stopped caring as much.  Slowly clothes turned from more!!!! to meh!

I'm making a concerted effort to do better with clothes, to care more even when I'm on a budget.  A super duper budget. A piece here a bargain there, to get my wardrobe back from warlock to wooohoooo. 

I've never been into dresses.  Partially because I sit like a boy, partially because I'm not at all a girl girl.  At all. Today, Jethro and I celebrated our anniversary today, and I decided to look the part.  Which means I BOUGHT A DRESS!!!!!

(Side story, I went to find a picture at this dress and I thought I found it.  Then I clicked on the bad boy and it said MATERNITY!!! I was upset.  I have a pleasant dress experience and it turns out it was a damn MATERNITY dress!?!?!?!  No wonder it was comfy.  Then I got mad and had to find the tag and it didn't say maternity, and the tag in the dress doesn't say maternity but I was still annoyed.  I searched and searched for it.  Then I saw a note that said the maternity was only available online.  Whew.)

And I enjoyed wearing it.  Sure I had to be super conscious when getting out of the car, but it wasn't bad at all. 

Maybe I'll do this more often. 

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Ten - Step My Game Up

I'm struggling tonight.  I'm two minutes away from not being coherent at all.

Just like this but with a laptop instead of a banana.

Jethro is watching MMA while I'm struggling to sit upright.  The guy that just fought and won was born with just one arm.  One arm!!!!  And he's doing this.

If he can do this the least I can do is get off the couch and exercise. Gotta step my game up.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Nine - Beyonce Got A Haircut

In this week's really important, the world must stop, how could this happen news.

Beyonce got a haircut.  Beyonce took to her Instagram (I guess everyone has one but me) and posted pics of her new do. 

People were outraged!  People cried happy tears!  People swore it was a wig!  People swore she just took off her wig!  People said this meant the fan won!  So many opinions.

People hated it, people loved it but everyone had an opinion. 

I've only got this:

Dear Beyonce,

I hope this letter finds you well. I hope you're having fun spending money and being a diva and all of that.  I noticed you cut your hair.  That's awesome.  I hope you like it.  Or if you don't like it you find a few nice bundles of Remy and Malasian to fix it.  Either way, your head. 

So here's the thing.  

Can I have a few tickets to your December 13th concert in Chicago?  I wanted to go in July but they sold out in 0.000001 seconds and my internet connection at work isn't that fast.  I could've bought them via Stub Hub, but I'm saving my kidney for when Ladybug goes to college.  Nothing too fancy, maybe section 111 or 112. While everyone else is focused on your follicles, I'm focused on your music.   I love 1+1 and Listen, but Listen kind of makes me stabby, so maybe not.

Um, please and thank you.


Thursday, August 8, 2013

Eight - 8 Looks Like Infinity

Today, August 8th, is my 8 year wedding anniversary. 

Jethro and I were married in Vegas on August 8, 2005 in front of our family and friends.  When I tell people I got married in Vegas, people automatically assume we eloped.  Nope.   We knew we wanted a destination wedding.  And while the Caribbean seemed like it would be awesome, we wanted some place where people could afford to go and have a nice time.  Vegas fit the bill well.  Of course, this was back in the day when you could fly to Vegas for $150 round trip.   Vegas is basically built for weddings, I told them what I wanted and they made it happen.  No drama, no stress.  I cried twice on my wedding day.  The first, was when I found out my brother was in his "dress" uniform from the Marines.  Not sure why that made me tear up, but it did.  My sister responded by telling me to man up.  The second time was right before I walked down the aisle.  My daddy told me not to be scared, I quickly replied I was crying because I was happy, and I still am.

Jethro and I aren't perfect, no one is, and being married takes prayer, work, kindness, forgiveness, patience, tolerance and sacrifice. Anyone that pretends otherwise is a liar and a stupid face and shouldn't be trusted.

We meet wayyyyyyyy back in 1998 when we worked at the same company.  I though he was the cutest thing ever.  I checked out his car (I'm a stalker) and checked the backseat for carseats.  None!  I checked multiple times, None!!!  I pegged him to be 24 to my 19, and I thought he had the nicest butt.  I told a coworker I thought he was cute and she told him.  He asked me out.  I was soooooooooooooooo nervous! I met him at his apartment (this is so funny to talk about) where he revealed something I wasn't prepared for.  He wasn't 24.  He was 29 aka damn near 30.  I was a very new 19.  I rolled with it, I was a sucka! We went to eat and then the movies and we didn't kiss afterwards because I'm a good girl. (Hahahaha) I bring that up to him all the time.  You didn't even get a kiss!!!  It worked though.  He didn't tell me about those 3 old (waaayyyyy too old for car seats) kids of his until later.

He used to con me to come over by saying he was making dinner.  It worked.  Ev. Ver. Re. Time.  I was ill prepared for 30 year old game!!!! He's been THAT man since I was 19.  Every song on the radio is him.  Happy song, him.  Sad song, him.  Gonna set your car on fire song, him.  It's all about him. 

We've had ups and downs.  We've had money to spare and have pinched pennies.  We've grown together even though we're so opposite.  He likes loud, I like quiet.  He thinks the club is awesome, I'm happy in the library.  He talks with his feelings, I put my feelings in the corner. But we work, he's on when I'm off, can calm me down when I stress out (I stay stressed out) and he makes me cookies. 

I love him and he loves me. And if you turn an eight on its side...

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Seven - Communication

Whhhoooooooooo lawd!!!!!!

I actually watched R&B Divas on the right day.  And, got Jethro to watch the second half.

I was nearly on the floor with the foolishness that was Kelly Price.

One of my biggest pet peeves in life is when people don't say anything, don't communicate, don't use a carrier pigeon, or a smoke signal, or Morse Code or sign langauge or any damn communication method that normal folks understand, then act ALL KINDS OF APPALLED AND OUTRAGED when someone does something that is in opposition to what is in their head.  You know that they didn't bother to tell anyone.

Chante told Kelly she was meeting with a director, Kelly moaned a bit but wasn't clear on her feelings.

Lil Mo met with Kelly and told her about the director, Kelly made a few weird faces but again wasn't clear on her feelings.

Kelly shows up at rehresal and says, that she had no idea there was a director.




No idea? None?  For real?  From then the foolishness keeps going with Kelly having all kinds of conversations with her feelings on the inside and not telling anyone then getting upset about it.  What kind of way is that to live?  Why not just say "I have someone in mind for Director".  That is not even a lot of words.  Instead, she acts like a child and then gets overly upset and dramatic.

Worst thing ever.  Ugh.  Grow the hell up.  Use your words!!! Words are your friends.

Also - Jethro was nearly beside himself at the end of the episode.  THAT was funny.  "How does she have friends?", "Why are they still talking to her?!?!?" LOL

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Six - Dr. Bek C. Google

You may not know this, but I am a doctor.  Yes, a medical doctor.  Yes, on people.   You see I am fully qualified:

  • I've watched all 421 seasons of Grey's Anatomy
  • I'm a faithful viewer of Real Stories of the ER 
  • My mom was a ER Nurse and had tons of books around
  • I paid a lot of attention in biology
  • I'm really good at googling 
See, fully qualified.  My thorough medical training has well equipped me for self-diagnosis and diagnosing my friends and family.  In fact, I'm ready to do surgery if someone would let me get my hands on a scalpel.

I can honestly say my medical degree from Notquitea University has come in handy.  I was able to diagnose Ladybug's reflux and croup before we got to the doctor. 

But, being an Notquitea alum has a downside
It turns out, you can over research, and end up knowing too much about something you don't want to know anything about. No reasonable 33 year old should be worried about having to wear a helmet.  That is not acceptable.  Not.  Acceptable. 

I'm totally not wearing a helmet without the rest of the outfit.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Five - Random Post of Randomness

When you have to blog, and you have things to say, but you have no time you get a Random Post of Randomness

  • After way too long of not going to actual service, I returned to church yesterday.  Ladybug went to her class and I heard the word.  A much needed, very much needed, super much needed word.  We pray as a family every morning, I pray with Ladybug every night, I pray on my own during the day, but I needed to fellowship and to hear things and see things and I've got to do better.  
  • One of the things from yesterday's service was "If Jesus asked you what you wanted him to do, would you have an answer?".  For some in the bible it was easy, to see, to heal a child, to walk... but I can honestly say I don't know.  The simple stuff seems too simple, to trivial, and the big stuff?  Maybe a conversation?  Even saying that though, there are somethings that we can't understand now.  It was kind of eye opening, that's the kind of thing you should have an answer for. 
  • Ladybug can sing 60% of her ABCs and can count to five.  She's the most amazing 20 month old ever.  I'm going to count her age in months until she's 21, LOL.  
  • I've slacked on updating my weightloss blog.  Way more slacking on updating than on actually exercising.  I haven't fallen off completely, but I definitely need to be more focused. 
  • I need a patch to address my Candy Crush right before bed habit. 
Five points. Day Five.  Works for me.  LOL 

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Four - Would You Marry You?

Somehow I've gotten sucked in to R&B Divas L.A.  I've done pretty well about staying away from reality tv, because typically it ends up in foolishness and I don't have the patience. I prefer to get my foolishness from Maury thank you very much. 

I'm an episode behind because pressing the record button on the DVR takes a lot of energy and they delay by a week on OnDemand.  

In episode three, the ladies venture to Vegas and Chante...

(off topic, Chante's body is awesome.  When I'm 47 or however old she is I'm going to look like that, I might need to surgically attach my head to her body but those are just details)

... talks about her book which I quickly dismissed as fluff.  After talking about their feelings and if they'd marry themselves. Then, they decided to have a ceremony to marry themselves and I nearly fell of the couch.  They got all dressed up and I rolled my eyes hard. H.A.R.D.  I texted (not a word) a couple friends and said if I had to marry me, I wasn't getting dressed up, I was wearing yoga pants.   We could psycho analyze that a lot, but we'll move on past that. 
These would be perfect

But then it got deep and I had to stop and think about it.  They ended up making vows to themselves, to be nicer to themselves, to forgive themselves to cut themselves some slack.  Dawn vowed to really be okay if she can't have kids (I wanted to give her 4,000 hugs, you don't know unless you know). And I thought about it. 

What did I need to vow to myself?  Forgiveness? Yep.  Honesty? Yep. Better treatment? Yep.  Just about every positive thing?  Yep. 

I'm a quick forgiver.  I find it hard to stay mad and often give second, third, fourth, etc chances to everyone else except me.  Maybe it's time that I give myself all of the benefits I give everyone else.

Or, keep stuffing my pie hole with chicken while not dealing with my feelings.  Either or. 

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Three - Iyanla

Everything about Iyanla 1.0 rubbed me the wrong way.  Ev. Ver. Re. Thing.  I felt as though she over simplified things at times, kiss a fairy and your life will be right.  Well I haven't seen any fairies lately. So that isn't a simple answer now is it?  And when she wasn't being overly simplistic, she was being abstract. 

"The results of an independent investigation of truth is the only incontrovertible proof that truth is eternal, consistent, dependable, and born of love"

What?  Seriously?  What?!?!  That there ^, doesn't say anything.  It says 0 things.  I'm sure someone is going to try and tell me, "Bek, what she was trying to say was..." Nope.  I don't believe you in advance. 

So I ignored her books, didn't watch the Oprah episodes with her, didn't watch any of her shows.  I can honestly say I gave her no thought, but did roll my eyes at her book when I saw it at my mom's house. 

Then she showed back up on Oprah and talked about her life and what happened and she had Oprah sang Cum Ba Yah and became buddies again and now Iyanla has a new show.  "Fix My Life". The title annoyed me alone and I decided I'd never watch it ever. 

I don't watch OWN usually.  In fact, I rarely have the remote, but that's another post. Today I got caught up in foolishness watching the "Infidelity" show and kept seeing previews for tonight's FML (Hahahahaha the initials!!!!) which was about a husband and wife who had 14 extra people living in their house.  The wife was fed up, she never okay'd any of it and she might have been a drunkard. 

I didn't intend to watch the whole show. But the first few minutes pulled me in.

  • Husband and wife, they have a couple of adult kids - still in the house
  • Husband decides one day he's going to move in 14 relatives.  Decides.  He tells her the day before.
  • The relatives are a bunch of ungrateful bastards who think the wife has an attitude problem.  
Iyanla points out multiple times the wife is the "lady of the house", that it's "her house" and it just flies right over their heads for a while.  Then a nephew gets offended, he's not going to be disrespected no matter who's house it is.

double super blank stare

Um.  What?  Seriously.  What?  In my house, it is not a democracy, you have no rights.  You can deal with me or you can get the hell out.  That is all.  Enough said.  When you have your own place, with your name on it, do whatever you want.  Here?  In my house?  I do whatever I want.  You don't like it?  Leave.  I have an attitude?  Ab-so-lute-ly, it's my house.

When did this entitlement attitude become ok?  Why do people assume that they have the right to do whatever feels good to them at the time (aka not bother being responsible enough to have their own) and no one gets to say anything to them about it.  Is this the result of bad parenting?  Steroids in chicken?  Too much sunlight?  What?  I don't get it.  You're not entitled to anything, ESPECIALLY in someone else's house.

In the end it worked out, the husband and wife communicated, the family did right and all is well (I'm sure I don't believe that).  And Iyanla 2.0 is kind of cool.  She's not arrogant, or self important or way abstract, she's just a person that calls others out on their b.s.  I like that.  I didn't know that was a job because I would've applied.  

I'm adding "getting paid to call people out" to my to do list. 

Friday, August 2, 2013

Two - To Do List

I have so many "serious" topics in my head, but none of the energy required to do really write about them the way I need/want to. 

Instead we get this, my to do list.  I guess some people would call it a Bucket List, but that seems a bit morbid to me.  This is more casual, the things I think would be fun, and the next time I see them I'm totally going to do them list.

1. Ziplining.  Jethro and I got really close to doing it a few years ago, and then we saw the price tag and said nope.  Next time though, it's on.

2. Zorbing - I realize most people have no clue what this is.  It was on an episode of Road Rules once (shut up, you know you watched it).  Think a air filled hamster ball with a person inside.  You can zorb on land, you can zorb on water.  I think I'd prefer land.

Weeeee!!!! There's a person in there.  I'm sure they're just fine.
3. Parasailing - But not near any buildings, and not where there are sharks in the water below.  I've got stipulations! 

4. Fat costume sumo wrestling - This looks like the most possible fun.

Insert my photo here
5. Go to the olympics - Yes!  My beam routine is almost complete in my head!  Or not.  I've been trying to go to the Olympics forever.  Friends and I talked about going to Greece, didn't happen.  Every four years, same thing.  It's in Rio in 2016, which is both near and too close.  Could it happen? Sure.  Is it going to be 500,000,000 degrees, probably.  I don't know if 2016 will be our year but, I totally want to go to the summer games.  Maybe if 2020 is in Madrid...

6. Go back to Vegas! - VEGAS VEGAS VEGAS!!! I haven't been since 2005.  That was 8 friggin years ago!  Eight!!! People born then are now in the third grade!!  I need to go back, and play Keno and see some shows and eat and play Keno.  I don't do the club so no thanks, but would love a show, a daiquiri and some $0.25 roulette!  I'm a high roller.  HIGH ROLLER!!!! (aka lowest roller ever)

7. Go on vacation - Like a real vacation.  With a beach, and fruity drinks and a man servant.... ok maybe not a man servant, no wait wait  yes, a man servant.

Guess I need to start squirreling away some money huh?

Thursday, August 1, 2013

One - You're Not Gucci

For those of you that are interested, I'm doing this challenge thanks to Luvvie.  For those of you who, like me, find writing therapuetic and a way to avoid setting things on fire, it's a great idea. Arson is bad, or at least it is if you get caught.


Today a new outlet mall opened north of the city (every time I say "the city" it feels weird... dang suburbs).  The mall hyped itself up nicely, they're comping the tolls for everyone that gets off at that exit and the mall's grand opening made it to all of the local news shows.  Slow news day?  Maybe.

What makes this mall "special" is that it also has some upscale stores along with the usual suspects like Wilsons. Apparently, a Gucci outlet is the best thing that's happened in the history of man.  In fact, it is probably blasphemous that I'm not twitching with excitement at the mere thought of it. 

Patrons stood in line for an hour to go into the Gucci store.  Standing in line, for an HOUR to get into a store is dumb in and of itself.  But this?!? Standing in line for an hour to spend triple what you should be for an article of clothing is a poor life decision.  I don't get it.  Do.  Not.  Get.

I know we're not supposed to judge people by their appearance.  I know and I'm sorry, a little.  But if you're in the mall, looking like "why" and "what for", your primary concern shouldn't be the Gucci outfit.   People put so much emphasis on designer labels, and for what?  Wearing a Gucci t shirt isn't going to enhance your life.  That new outfit isn't going to get on the corner and make some money if you come up short. 

Also - if you're so thirsty for Gucci you can justify standing in line for an hour to get an "outlet" version.  You're not Gucci, not Gucci at all.

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I'm a 30-something wife, mom and pet parent. I've been blogging since 2004, at first solely on a blog for my friends and family. I love to write about everything. I can't say that A Bacon Flavored Life is about any one thing. If it occurs to me, it'll get posted. I write about life, love, infertility and a lot of "random".

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