Saturday, April 13, 2013

Out of Control

9:30 PM

People like to think that we're in control of our lives.  That we lead our own destiny, that we are the designers of our future.  And maybe, a small part of that is true.

There are so many things that are completely NOT up to us.  We don't choose:

  • Our parents - who they are, what they do, their upbringing, where they live, their parenting style, if they're addicted to anything, what they believe in, what is important to them.  And yet these very things play a huge role in who we become 
  • Our physical attributes - we don't choose our race, our predisposition to diseases, our hair color, if we have straight teeth or have gaps, if we walk with a correct gait or are pigeon toed. 
  • Where we live - No one of us got to choose where we are born.  There was no map of places to choose from after making a fully informed decision.  We live were our parents lived.
  • Our socioeconomic status - We don't pick what socioeconomic status we are born into.  We also don't get to choose if we are exposed to how other people live, to see if there is a different way.  
So much of what makes us who we are is all chance.  We're born into these boxes, these things that we had no control over and then attempt to fight our way out of them.  People are always upset about being stereotyped, being lumped in with a group, I think it's worse when you didn't chose the group to start.  

The very things we have no control over, are the things that separate us the most.  I'm trying to work on my own issues with this.  Trying to look past the obvious and to look deeper at what people do have control over. I'm trying to give people the benefit of the doubt.

At the same time, I'm becoming less tolerant of people who choose their circumstances and do nothing about it.

That's probably the way it should be.

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