I'm a romantic. I love love. I want people to be together and to love one another. I believe in love songs and will emote (yes me!) over a power ballad. I believe in love, I believe love is the strongest emotion on the planet, it can move mountains, power through cinder-block walls, make the impossible possible.
Which is why I get so frustrated when writers make their characters suffer. If two people love each other, they should just be together. I love you, you love me, we are a couple. That's it. That works. We all live happier ever after. Meredith and Derek on Grey's Anatomy loved each other starting in season one of Grey's Anatomy. Season one. Season after season after season, we watched them pine for one another, hurt one another, fight what they were both feeling. And then, finally, after what seemed like a century, they were allowed to be happy, together, with the one they belonged with. Took them long enough.
During every romantic comedy, when one of the characters does something stupid and they have a dumb fight about nothing that threatens everything, I automatically roll my eyes. "Really?!?! You lied about going to the post office? Who lies about going to the post office? Oh, now you two are having a dumb fight about the freaking post office and break up? Huhhhhh" I always chalked it up to making the story more interesting. No one wants to watch happy people be happy.
It occurred to me today (yes today) that is exactly how life works. How many couples do you know that met each other and had no drama, no conflict, no extenuating circumstances and just rode off into the sunset together? I thought about it and my answer is 0. People aren't designed to fit together perfectly, to be seamless. You can't mix two things (or people) together and have them both remain completely intact, both are going to change to make the new thing. And change is hard. Change can be painful. Change is definitely uncomfortable. That doesn't mean it's time to run, it doesn't mean that you should avoid all disagreements at all costs, it means that to become everything you're supposed to be, you've got to work at it. And sometimes, it's painfully hard work. But it's worth it.