Monday, March 4, 2013

Best Laid Plans

10:17 PM

I love to read "strange" crime stories.  Usually, I laugh and keep it moving.  But this one resulted in some questions

NEW YORK, March 3 (UPI) -- A New York City man was arrested and charged with faking being kidnapped to avoid telling his girlfriend why he was gone for two weeks. Rahmell Pettway, 36, was discovered by passersby early Thursday between two cars parked on a street in Brooklyn, the New York Post reported.

His hands, legs and mouth were covered with duct tape, and he complained of pain in his ribs, police said.
When being questioned by police, Pettway said he had been kidnapped by two men in a blue minivan on Feb. 19. They then held him captive for about two weeks, driving him around from place to place, Pettway said.
However, authorities became suspicious of Pettway's story and he soon confessed that the kidnapping was a hoax, saying he had been avoiding his girlfriend for a couple of weeks and was terrified of facing her.
"He's a total moron," said one law-enforcement official. "It was a pathetic attempt to pull the wool [over] her eyes."
Pettway was arrested and charged for filing a false report.

Few things: 
  1. This dude is 36? Really?  At 36 you haven't learned enough about life to avoid needing to stage your own abduction? 
  2. Where was he for those two weeks?  At Shaquantavia's house?  Why couldn't he just stay there? 
  3. Was this his first idea?  Or did he think about it for a while and then decide that this was a fool proof plan? 
  4. Did he not understand the meaning of "fool proof"? 
  5. If he was avoiding her for two weeks was she really his girlfriend?  Or was she his "girlfriend"? 
  6. How dangerous is this girlfriend that the elaborate fake story was necessary?
  7. He confessed under questioning?  That was dumb.  First and foremost, the correct answers while being questioned are:
    1. Not to my recollection 
    2. I plead the fifth, one - two - three - four - five  
    3. No habla ingles

Way to go Mr. Pettway, you're a super genius. 

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