(Link to Part I )
Two years and 9 months after we started trying to start a family, I was back in my ObGyn's office. She asked if I wanted to try Clomid again, or if I wanted a referral to infertility. I'd had enough of trying on my own, I asked for the referral. Jethro and I were extremely blessed to have medical insurance that covered fertility treatments at 100%. I know that makes my story unique, because the vast majority of the time, it's not covered. In fact, had we been on my insurance instead of Jethro's we would have had no coverage at all. We were eligible for unlimited IUIs , and up to four egg retrievals for IVF. Although I had insurance coverage, my research found that my insurance carrier had recently severed ties with a lot of doctors. Luckily, the office my doctor recommended was still in network. I brought up that Jethro still hadn't been tested, and that I'd been working on that for the last 33 months. My doc said not to bother at that point, and to let the fertility center handle it.
My first appointment was with the Nurse Practitioner, who explained how the process would work. I took off of work, and went to the appointment solo. Before they could tell me anything, I'd undergo a series of tests to find out exactly why I was having trouble conceiving. Jethro's part wouldn't happen until they'd done all of my tests. I was so worried that they'd take one look at me and say "hey you're a fatty fat fat fatty, that's why you can't have babies." That didn't happen. As is my normal, the Nurse Prac commented on how calm I was. I had to be calm, I didn't know what I had to be crazy over yet. It's important not to under or over the crazy. I had my first (of many many many many) transvaginal ultrasound (the ultrasound probe didn't buy me dinner first which was kind of rude) and got to see my uterus. It looked like a uterus, but was fibroid free and looked normal. During the conversation, she asked me if I was hairy. I may have laughed so hard that I cried. Yes, I'm partially Sasquatch, also water is wet. Her guess was,k between my werewolf tendencies and my wonky cycle that my issue was hormonal. I was to call when my cycle started and the real tests would begin. I walked away from the appointment feeling pretty good, I was really on the road to being a mommy.
My cycle showed up, and I made the call. My first set of bloodwork was scheduled for 3 days later. Bloodwork at the fertility clinic is weird, it's first thing in the morning and there are appointment times every 15 minutes. 7:00, 7:15, 7:30, etc. It truly is first come first served. And normally, there is a waiting room full of women who don't acknowledge each others' presence. We're all there for the same thing, yet no one can even manage a nod and a smile. Maybe because we don't want to get close to someone and have them get pregnant but not us. Maybe it's because we like our own "failure" and aren't interested in theirs. I get called back and meet a nurse, who isn't "my" nurse but is on duty for blood work. I immediately get labeled as a problem patient. I have little bitty teeny tiny baby veins that like to run and hide from needles. I was told to ask for a heating pack when I sign in, hoping that the heat will get my veins to rise to the occasion. The initial results came back normal. My egg reserve was good, which was a good sign. Because this appointment was first thing in the morning, I didn't have to tell anyone at work yet.
I had weekly ultrasounds for the next few weeks. Trying to see if I would ovulate. My cycles weren't anywhere near regular, so it was anyone's guess when that would be. I also had a test to see if my tubes were open. Dr. Google (my favorite doctor) warned me that this test would be excruciating. I was able to schedule on Jethro's day off and prepared myself for the worst. I took meds before the test and worked on breathing exercises. Jethro drove and I tried not to be too afraid. They took me back and... it was painless. The nurse that did it didn't know where I (and a previous patient) got our information from, but suggested I stay off the internet. She may as well have told the sun not to shine. Those results I saw as it happened. My tubes were completely open. Afterwards, Jethro and I stopped for Gyros.
I got discouraged after the last ultrasound, after my nurse decided to send me to see the doctor because she wasn't sure that I was going to ovulate . I wanted to yell at her, I'd been charting for more than a year, I'd used ovulation testers, I KNEW I ovulated, how could she not believe me. I felt as though they might give up on me. But I didn't say anything. The appointment with the doctor was what all of these tests were leading to. I wanted it to happen before the end of the year, so I made an appointment, took off work again, and went solo.
I saw the doctor, the head guy in the practice. He was awesome. He said he was happy to see me smiling, because he got to see very few smiles. There were a lot of things with me that were right, my thyroid, my egg reserve and although I was chunky, I wasn't THAT chunky that it was interfered with things. In fact, he told me to stop bringing my weight up. Although I had some of the indicators for PCOS, he wasn't labeling me as that. I had lazy ovaries. Sometimes they felt like doing right, sometimes they didn't. The ovulated whenever they got around to it. This according to him was easily rectified with drugs. I'd do Clomid again, but three times as much, and would have a trigger. An injection administered by me to prompt ovulation so that we could time insemination. The doctor told me he knew it'd work for me, not because of my medical file, but because of my attitude. I immediately chalked this up to b.s. and figured that it was something he told everyone, although he assured me he did not. I was not convinced.
And Jethro... who'd fought it tooth and nail, was fine. His swimmers were swimming their tails off.
I told my boss about what was going on, and she was extremely supportive. She knew "something" was going on because of all of the days I'd taken off. She knew I might run late because of the bloodwork, but all was well. I also had the most supportive friends and family ever in my corner. I had an awesome support system and was ready to get things started.
(Link to Part 3)
(Link to Part 4)