- I'm a perfectionist - I blame a lot of my issues on this. It's one of the reasons I procrastinate. It's also why I have such a hard time delegating anything to anyone for any reason. I'll do it myself, I trust me.
- I'm practical/rational - I think in lines and make the vast majority of my decisions with my head and not my heart. In fact, when people think with their emotions, it makes me tired.
- I'm cautious - Probably to a fault. No sudden moves people!
- I look calm - Every job I've had people have said "You're so calm, you never get stressed out". They have no clue. I stay worried, I'm just really good at masking it.
- I need a schedule - I must have a plan, I don't like surprises and spontaneous is a dirty word that ought not be spoken in my presence.
Babies do not care about your stupid plan. Nor do they care about your rational brain, or your need to be in control. I learned to adapt, and have gotten much better about taking a deep breath and going with the flow. But not without some bumps in the road.
|I'm emotional. Deal with it.|
For example, for weeks before I returned to work from maternity leave, I was focused on getting Ladybug to go to bed earlier. She naturally went to sleep around 9:30/10 pm, but I was so sure she needed to be asleep earlier. Never mind that she was like 7 weeks old and really could sleep all day. What else did she have to do? So we'd go in her room and we'd be there forever as I'd try to coax her to sleep, and she finally would, around 9:30/10. Effort fail. But I kept trying, and trying and trying. Until I realized that I was driving myself insane. I gave up, and waited on her clues. She adjusted on her own, and she's had a 7:30 bedtime since a few weeks after I went back to work.
|Sleep? Why would I go to sleep?|
|Yeah, I ate your nachos... so?!|
There are a million things that are going to happen that are out of my control, that don't go according to my plan. And that's okay (no it's not), I'm learning to roll with the punches. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, all you can do is the best you can and that means something different for everyone. For me, my best includes relaxing a bit, and going with the flow.